Why the Valley Might Be Your Greatest Teacher

"We do not learn from experience... we learn from reflecting on experience." - John Dewey

A question has been echoing through my work lately: What if the valley isn’t the problem but the portal?

We often treat life's “valleys” - the dips, slowdowns, and stuck points - as places to escape. But in my experience, both in billion-dollar boardrooms and quiet moments of personal reinvention, the valley is where the real transformation begins.

Yes, life is an emotional roller coaster. The peaks are exhilarating, but it’s in the valleys that we become who we truly are.

Years ago, I was a financial leader for a massive drug portfolio, navigating complexity, risk, and high stakes. When things didn’t go according to plan (and they often didn’t), I learned something unexpected: The more I surrendered, the clearer the path became.

Like a surfer tossed by a massive wave, flailing only leads to exhaustion. But when we relax into the water, trusting its rhythm, we eventually rise.

This isn’t about passivity. It’s about presence. It’s about trusting that wisdom lives in the wave and so does the next move.

Why We Get Stuck in the Valley

When we hit a valley, whether professionally or personally, we often default to urgency, over-analysis, or a focus on performance. We scramble to "fix" the problem or push through. But what if the valley isn’t a detour? What if it’s an initiation?

What if the discomfort reveals brilliance you’ve been too busy to see?

In my work with visionary, outlier leaders - people navigating identity shifts, burnout, and the loneliness that comes with bold thinking - I have seen it repeatedly. The pause feels dangerous, but it’s where the real answers emerge.

So, here’s the reframe:

• You’re not stuck. You’re integrating.

• You’re not behind. You’re becoming.

• You’re not lost. You’re learning how to see in the dark.

From Valley to Illumination

In The Illumination Series, we help leaders illuminate their past, present, and future - not to fix anything but to finally see it. That’s what the valley does: It slows us down just enough to notice what matters.

It invites us to:

• Reframe the narrative we’re telling ourselves.

• Reconnect with the brilliance we've forgotten we have.

• Redesign a path that aligns with who we’re becoming, not just who we’ve been.

Leadership isn’t about dominating chaos. It’s about developing intimacy with it. And your valleys? They’re classrooms.

So Here’s My Invitation

If you’re in a valley right now, pause. Breathe. Ask yourself:

• What is this moment trying to teach me?

• Where am I resisting what’s already unfolding?

• What brilliance wants to emerge… but needs stillness to surface?

You don’t have to force your way out of the valley.
You have to trust that the path forward begins not in the push but in the presence.

The light will come. It always does. And when it does - you’ll be changed.